Keith is on the internet, Hot Cross Buns



Keith on the internet

Kool Keith is a friend of mine.  He’s a talented artist.  Check out his drawings.  They are GREAT.

In other news, we stopped by the corner store this morning.  Tony gave us some hot cross buns for free (“They’re a day old but still good.  Microwave ‘em” – classy gesture).

I found out that hot cross buns are an Easter food and not just a song to sing in elementary school.  Tasted like shit.

Bikes make me happy

Haven’t posted in a while because I’ve been bubbling with rage.  About nothing in particular but generally everything.  Wake up in the morning and just want to hate. I was going to list everything that I hate but I didn’t for two reasons:

1. It would be very offensive to some people (lookin’ at you, honkeys)

2. I got my bike back from the shop today



And I am fucking elated.  I got it tuned up for the season and it rides better than when I got it (they even painted over the dinged up bits).  I would highly recommend Kater Street Bicycle to anybody in the city.

I’ve told people (multiple times) that all I want to be happy is my bicycle and Eagles season tickets.  I’m halfway there and it feels GREAT. Gonna go ride around FDR park and try and avoid all the white people who are out jogging.

Let’s talk about breakfast sandwich bread

I’m not going to get into the bacon/pork roll or ketchup/hot sauce controversy right now.  What I’m talking about is the bread your bacon egg & cheese is served on.

There are a couple of options: toast, long rolls, bagels, croissants.  Only one of them is correct.

Let’s throw toast out right now.  That’s amateur shit. If you eat your bacon, egg & cheese on toast then you listen to top 40 music, are totally into running, and may describe yourself as “totally awkward!”. Because you are a boring, bland person without any semblance of a personality.

Long rolls? Maybe. These are probably the biggest breakfast sandwiches, so it’s a quantity over quality type of deal. If it’s an amoroso roll, then it’s probably pretty fantastic.  But you also run the risk of a prepackaged, generic, mushy piece of bread.  I’d rather not.

Bagels.  I love bagels.  There have been multiple days when I’ve eaten bagels for breakfast and lunch, they’re so versatile and filling.  They are a great breakfast.  Eggs are a great breakfast.  Together?  They might be too great.  First, they’re too damn big to fit in your mouth.  And you’re getting a lot of competing flavors, especially if you’re eating an everything bagel.  And if you’re too full at breakfast the rest of your day is fucked.

The real winner is croissants.  All airy and flaky, but still buttery and rich.  Soaking up the grease from the eggs and bacon and just absolutely delectable. You look fancy as all hell, because plebeians who order long rolls or toast are too simple minded to fathom such a regal breakfast sandwich.  They can’t even begin to comprehend how much better your breakfast sandwich is than their crummy, common excuse for the most important meal of the day.  If you haven’t done this before, you’re missing out on one of the finest pleasures in life.  If you’ve already seen the light, you’re probably salivating at the thought.

The greatest

The greatest

Job hunting with Calvin and Hobbes

About 2 years ago I was posting about my job hunt circa 2012.  Oh how things have changed (and how they haven’t).  I’m better qualified, have a better sense of what I (don’t) want to do, and I don’t live in goddamn Harrisburg so this round should be a whole lot more bearable.

It’s actually pretty exciting.  I’ll let Calvin and Hobbes explain the rest.

Not going to lie, I still get choked up everytime I read this.

Property of Bill Watterson and other legal stuff I should say

Not going to lie, I still get choked up everytime I read this. Best comic of all time, though I absolutely despise the snow. 

August 29th is my last day

Big, big day for govinbhai. Today I had a chat with my boss about my future.  Whether I’m staying at my current job for another year, enrolling in a master’s program, still interested in PhD programs, etc.

None of the above.  We agreed that my last day at work is August 29th.  My 24th birthday is going to be fantastic.

“Where do you want to be when you’re 30? Decide that and reverse engineer it from there.” My boss tells me. She was super cool about it.  Told me about a bunch of her friends whose work I’d be interested in.

Time for govinbhai to figure out what the fuck he’s doing with his life for the umpteenth time since graduating.  Wish me luck during these next five months.  At the very least, have a couch I can crash on when I’m homeless a year from now.


Relevant XKCD

Eat shit ya damn commies

Noticed this when I was posting the last blog and it made my day. I can (kind of) see who’s looking at my blog and where the pageviews are coming from.  Check out this damn commie from the USSR reading my most patriotic blog ever .Screen Shot 2014-03-17 at 11.59.48 AM


Yeah, this damn commie only read one page but it’s probably because afterwards this guy was so mentally shattered by our ‘Murican superiority that he blew his damn commie brains out in the Red Square.

Putin, if one of you or your Kremlin goonies is reading this you can kiss my red, white and blue ass.


I’m becoming a baby

This has been occurring progressively since I finished college.  I don’t know why.  My food and sleep schedule is that of an infant’s.

If no one tells me to eat, or I forget, I get cranky.  I get all confused and irritable until I realize I’ve forgotten to eat.  I’m not above a little bit of sobbing.

When I do eat, I make a mess.  There’s food in my beard, on my desk, on my clothes, and I don’t notice because I’m so damn hungry I’m just shoving food down my gullet.

I eat too much too fast.  I get gassy/sleepy (in some order).  If I’m watching TV, in a car/train, especially on my couch, I will fall asleep in a matter of minutes.

Best (worst?) of all, I drool in my sleep.  I wake up on a damp pillow or with crusty saliva in my beard.   I’m extremely disoriented and usually have to use the bathroom.


The transformation into a baby will be complete when I start shitting myself.  At my current rate I’m expecting this to happen by July 4th.

Our sofa, part II

So at this point you know how baller our couch is.  You’ve probably slept on it before.  It’s an awesome couch.

At least 5/7 nights a week there is at least one person who falls asleep on this couch (and that’s being conservative).  If you count people sleeping on couch/days perweek, the number is closer to 10/7 (over 100%), what with friends crashing here over the weekend and multiple people crashing on this couch any given week night.  We have the greatest couch of all time.  Case in point:



And they weren’t even that drunk.

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‘My Job Is Very, Very Different From Your Job‘


Working from home today (actually working for the most part) and going to NYC this weekend so no posts by me in the near future. This is a must-read. CB is one of my favorite Eagles (and fellow Temple Owl) and just so happens to be a great writer. Can’t wait for football season #flyeaglesfly

Originally posted on The MMQB with Peter King:

By Connor Barwin
Philadelphia Eagles

I get asked a lot about “locker room culture” these days. Ever since the Jonathan Martin-Richie Incognito bullying situation and the recent coming out of Michael Sam, it seems the media has become fascinated with understanding the inner workings of an NFL team. I’ve seen countless articles discussing how bullying or homosexuality is dealt with in an office setting and others comparing our workplace with the traditional American workplace. But let’s get something straight: My job is very, very different from your job.

While most of my friends and family have been climbing up the corporate ladder or grinding through medical school, I have had the distinct pleasure to set up office on a folding chair at One NovaCare Way, in the Eagles’ complex in South Philadelphia for the past year. Prior to that I was employed by the Houston Texans, and before that I…

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