You know what’s more exciting than football?  Postseason baseball.  The joy, the sorrow, the tension, the overanalysis of any questionable play or managerial decision.  The Braves getting butthurt about the infield fly call (admittedly bad) while totally ignoring Chipper Jones laying a total egg in his last game.  Engrossing stuff, and multiple games on TV every night so far.

The silver lining of the Phillies missing the playoffs is getting to root for a different team in every series scot-free.  And being pretty satisfied with a couple World Series matchups (Bay Area Series, Cincy/Baltimore, maybe even Detroit/St. Louis and revenge for the 2005 Tigers).  So for the first of multiple rankings today, Govinbhai’s MLB Bandwagon Power Ranking (Unnecessary acronym: GbMLBBwPR)

1. Baltimore Orioles

Orioles magic is for real.  Their uniforms are cool.  My first baseball game was an O’s game.  The AL East’s little brother is making noise and ain’t afraid of no stinkin’ Yankees.  They were 6-3 (winning all 3 series) in New York this season.  Their series of 1-run/extra innings wins are unsustainable, their defense is questionable and they’re starting nobodies in high-stakes playoff games.  Doesn’t matter if you’ve got Orioles magic.  Go birds?

2. Oakland Athletics

This team caught fire after the all-star break.  Also have aesthetically pleasing uniforms.  Dunno if they could take down Verlander in a potential game 5 but look at how nuts their fans get for their closer.  Rad

3. Cincinnati Reds

When Roy Halladay no-hit these kids 2 years ago it seemed they were still a few years away.  Those few years have passed and this is a team built to win in the post-season.  Solid offense, nearly excellent pitching, and it’s a blast watching Chapman throw gas pitch-after-pitch.  Disappointing loss last night but they’re the NL team to beat.

4. Detroit Tigers

3 AL teams in the top half of my bandwagon rankings is pretty logical, as there’s very few AL teams I really dislike (Boston and Texas come to mind).  They’ve got some unfinished business in the playoffs and are playing hungry.  I wouldn’t be too displeased if they won this series (or the whole thing).

5. San Francisco Giants

Beautiful uniforms, cool ballpark, and I’m not too bitter about the 2010 NLCS.  Like I mentioned, a Bay Area WS would be hella cool (see what I did there?), though they’re on the ropes and likely won’t make it out of the Queen City.

6. Washington Nationals

Yeah they’re a division rival (and ranked above two other teams) but I’ve got a soft spot for them since I’m from Harrisburg and have been going to Senators games since I was a kid.  Don’t want them in the World Series though, that wouldn’t be cool.

7. St. Louis Cardinals

I am bitter about last year’s NLDS.  Give this team an inch and they’ll take a mile, which they’ve demonstrated winning it all last year and blowing out the Nats in game 2.  Also Todd Atkin makes me hate everything about Missouri and I hope the Cardinals get legitimately raped.

8. New York Yankees

Many of my good friends are Yankees fans, but jumping on any New York team’s bandwagon is just evil.  It’s also delightful watching Yankees fans squirm and bitch about A-Rod doing this and Girardi not doing that and the general hysteria.  Really hoping they shit the bed in the Bronx.

But yeah, this blog is about football.  Instead of a game-by-game breakdown I’m changing up the format due to my many requests for a power ranking.  So we begin in week 6 with Govinbhai’s NFL Power Rankings!

W6GbNFLPR

1. Houston Texans (5-0)

Houston didn’t play their best game in East Rutherford, but the Jets were playing hard to bounce back from an embarrassing loss.  Matt Shaub didn’t have an ideal game, Andre Johnson was almost a non-factor, but Arian Foster put the offense on his back (doe).  The story of this game was the Texans defense.  Losing Cushing is a huge blow, but with JJ Watt (pretty much a defensive Gronk) this team has no worries.  They *still* haven’t played a great team, but until further notice, they’re the best.

2. San Francisco 49ers (4-1)

Ranking them above an undefeated team?  They’re that good, and their only loss is to a sneaky-good Vikings team in Minnesota.  They put up 300 yards passing and rushing last week, and have given up 3 points over the last two weeks.  Sure, it was against two sputtering offenses but this is by far the best team in a stacked NFC.  Alex Smith may be hurt, but I think they’d be just as dangerous if Kaepernick has to start a game.

3. Atlanta Falcons (5-0)

Their offense is excellent, their defense still needs work.  As in, giving up a 70+ yard TD to a rookie backup – needs work.  Their offense lacks balance as well, and an injury or cold streak by Matt Ryan could be problematic.  Still not a team to be taken lightly.

4. New England Patriots (3-2)

After starting 1-2, this offense has exploded.  Better yet, the attack is balanced (back to back 200+ rushing yard games), and they’ve always got Tommy B.  They’re going up against a stellar defense in Seattle this week, so let’s see if they can keep it up.

5. Baltimore Ravens (4-1)

I was at a bar on Sunday that had the Red Zone channel.  I don’t think their game against the Chiefs was on TV for a single moment.  Baltimore can win ugly, and their defense is still ferocious.

6. Chicago Bears (4-1)

After a slow start, the Bears thoroughly embarrassed the admittedly awful Jags in Jacksonville during the second half.  Their defense has been phenomenal during all 5 games.  Losing Jeffery is a blow to the offense that could potentially melt down, but their aforementioned defense will keep them in plenty of games.

7. Minnesota Vikings (4-1)

Super defense.  Good run game.  Green quarterback who hasn’t made any huge mistakes.  I doubt they have the talent to make a deep playoff run, but they’ve been a very pleasant surprise so far this season.

8. Philadelphia Eagles (3-2)

Losing to the Steelers in Pittsburgh by 2 after their bye week isn’t a huge issue.  FUCKING VICK FUMBLING THE BALL LIKE IT’S IN HIS CONTRACT IS.  Fucking infuriating.  If he hadn’t lost that fumble in the endzone they could have realistically won that game.  The defense started showing cracks during Pittsburgh’s last drive, and they’ve done that two games in a row now.   They also failed to record a sack for the second straight week – troubling sign.  These birds could be world-beaters, or turnover machines any given week.  They better destroy Detroit this week or else I’m mashing the panic button.

9. Pittsburgh Steelers (2-2)

Yeah, they just beat the team ranked directly above them, but they also lost Troy Polamalu in the process.  Their running game is starting to look better, but their offense is far from intimidating.  They’ll likely make the playoffs, but it’s Baltimore’s division to lose.

10. New York Giants (3-2)

They finally blew out an opponent, but that opponent was the Browns and I think an SEC team could beat the Browns.  Their offense is better than years past, their defense not so much, and their secondary specifically is atrocious.  2 TDs to Brandon Weeden?  Awful

11. Green Bay Packers (2-3)

Blew a 21-3 halftime lead.  Lost their running back and their facade of any ground attack.  Rodgers is struggling (for Rodgers at least).  And their defense certifiably stinks.  A stat all over ESPN is that the Packers are 4-5 in their last 9 games.  Without Aaron Rodgers putting up videogame numbers their shitty shit awful discount double check defense has been totally exposed, and I’m fine with that.

12. Denver Broncos (2-3)

They’ve played a very tough schedule so far, but in all 3 of their losses they’ve only gotten close with some 4th quarter Peyton Manning swag.  Good enough to win their division, probably not balanced enough to make too much noise.

13. Seattle Seahawks (3-2)

Amazing defense.  Baller RB.  Rookie QB making it clear that he’s a rookie.  They snuck away with a win last week, and the Pats are coming to town this week.  We’ll see how they stand up to New England this week, and if they started Wilson way too early.

14. Arizona Cardinals (4-1)

Oh how the mighty have fallen.  Their RBs are dropping like flies, their O-line gave up approximately two bajillion sacks, and their offense runs through Kevin f’n Kolb.  This team is not for real.  Not even close.

15. Miami Dolphins (2-3)

When did this team get sneaky decent?  Went into Cincinnati and did their thing.  Defense is looking solid and came up clutch by picking off Andy Dalton in the final moments.  Maybe they’ve got something in that Tannehill kid.

16. Cincinnati Bengals (3-2)

Blew a home game they definitely should have won.  They made the playoffs last year beating up on crappy teams, and they can’t stop doing what they do best.

17. St. Louis Rams (3-2)

When did the NFC West become the best division in football?  All 4 teams are over .500 which nobody expected.  The Rams D-line looked excellent against Arizona.  The offense isn’t extraordinary, and they’re not making the best use of Stephen Jackson.

18. San Diego Chargers (3-2)

Gave the Saints their first win of the season.  Can’t run the ball well at all.  And the annual disappointment continues.

19. Dallas Cowboys (2-2)

I love seeing the Cowboys lose.  I hope they get clobbered in Baltimore.

20. New Orleans Saints (1-3)

They’re much better than their record indicates.  Their point differential is only -13, and they’re sure to win a few more home games.

21. Indianapolis Colts (2-2)

Have I mentioned how much I love Andrew Luck?  Has he mentioned how much he loves throwing to Reggie Wayne?  It pumped me up to see the Colts beat the Green Bay DiscountDoubleChecks last week.  They’ve got very winnable games coming up, and could finish the season .500.

22. Washington Redskins (2-3)

After RG3’s concussion, he didn’t know the score or the quarter.  He then went on to film five more commercials.  Fucking sellout

23. Detroit Lions (1-3)

Hopefully they fixed whatever was wrong with them over their bye.  Chances are, they didn’t, and the Lions will regress to the levels of incompetence we’ve come to expect from Detroit.

24. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (1-3)

I can’t think of a more bland team.  I’d forget they existed if not for the best named running back in the league (LeGarrette Blount – classy as shit)

25. Carolina Panthers (1-4)

Playing at home, the Panthers had a chance to go ahead with moments to go.  Cam Newton hit the wide open receiver ..with a bounce pass.  He’s now developing his own clothing line (not kidding).  Sigh.

26. New York Jets (2-3)

Lots of people saying “they’re just a game back!”.  Here’s what I said in my preseason prediction post: “Toss in a brutal mid-season schedule and this team may quit on Rex Ryan’s fat ass by the end of October, and we’re looking at a 3-13 finish.”  I’m a psychic.  CBs playing WR, coaches playing for special teams points, and Sanchez playing scared.  Ladies and gentlemen, your New York Jets!

27. Buffalo Bills (2-3)

Brought in Dave Wannstedt to fix up the defense.  Signed Mario Williams to a megacontract.  Gave up 97 points in their past two games.  Will this team ever be relevant again?

28. Tennessee Titans (1-4)

Holds the distinction of the worst point differential in the league (-93).  Diva runningback, injured and inconsistent QB, and a defense with a whole lot of problems.

29. Oakland Raiders (1-3)

100% chance they have a new head coach next year.  100% chance they’re still awful.

30. Kansas City Chiefs (1-4)

On my ESPN scorecenter app, they display some “interesting facts” while the program loads.  “Despite their 1-3 record, the Chiefs have never led a game.”  This team is awful, but at least Brady Quinn is starting this week.  That’s exciting or something, right?

31. Jacksonville Jaguars (1-4)

So at a Jacksonville bar a Bears fan got stabbed and killed.  I’m amazed this team has such passionate fans.  In fact, I’m surprised this team has fans.

32. Cleveland Browns (0-5)

Trent Richardson is really good.  Nothing else about this team is.  #SuckForBarkley?

I’d love some feedback on the new format.  Not as many gifs illustrating this post, because I couldn’t find the NFL gif thread on reddit.  Let’s pick this week’s games.

Pittsburgh over Tennessee

Baltimore over Dallas

Miami over St. Louis

Philadelphia over Detroit

Cleveland over Cincinnati

Indianapolis over New York Jets

Tampa Bay over Kansas City

Atlanta over Oakland

Minnesota over Washington

San Francisco over New York Giants

Houston over Green Bay

Denver over San Diego

Last week: 10-4

Season to date: 44-33

And I went 0-2 in my fantasy leagues.  So it goes.  Go birds!