Month: October 2013

Day 2: The Midwest Sucks

govinbhai GG2LA , , , , , ,

Back in the 215 – Traveling across the country/getting un-jetlagged put the kibosh on writing for a few days! 

10/12/13

As we were leaving the motel around 6:30 AM (Central time now) a gentleman was checking out in front of us.

“Last name?”

“Davis”

“First?”

“Keith.  Keith Davis.”

Keith Davis was checking someone else out of the room, and booking another room for that night.  “Can I get some extra keys?  My girlfriend will get here before me.”

Other than this observation, I have no other evidence to substantiate my claim, but I say this with full confidence:

40 miles west of Nashville, in Dickson, Tennessee, we were watching a truck stop pimp in action.  Keith Davis.

The most boring day of the trip

SO BORING

Part 1: Dickson to Maumelle, 321 miles

We passed through Memphis with little fanfare, and over the Mississippi river, into Arkansas, officially  into the west.

Really the only thing noteworthy about Memphis
Not sure what this pyramid was doing in Memphis
Susquehanna river 4 lyfe
Quite frankly, the Mississippi was a bit of a disappointment.

Anthony planned the trip with AAA, so they gave him actual paper maps of the country.  I play with Google maps for fun (I just love maps, don’t know why) so I had a fucking blast playing with these brand new instant relics.  If you ever look away from an LCD screen (not too common in 2013, I know) be sure to use a paper map sometime.  It’ll be something your grandkids won’t believe you used!

Arkansas is when I started to use the second map, so it was kind of a big deal.

But mostly Arkansas was boring as shit.  Things started spreading out, we saw lots of farms and lots of ranches.  Not too many people.  Around 10 AM we saw our first cotton fields, and that’s really the first noteworthy thing that happened.  Then we went through a fucking ABSURD thunderstorm, the first of a few in the tornado alley.  I don’t know why or how people live out here.  The rural midwest sucks.

We were near Little Rock at 11:30 so we stopped in North Little Rock for lunch.  It was ghetto as hell and Anthony got bad vibes from the yelp!-recommended lunch place.  Turns out it was closed anyways and we headed back onto I-40.  Fucking Arkansas.

Maumelle, AR was in some ways refreshing.  Mostly because there were people that didn’t look like they wanted to kill us.  The people were becoming noticeably more obese here and the trend carried on throughout the midwest.  We stopped at “Smokeshack B-B-Q” and I suddenly understood why.

But I didn't take pictures of the food because I'm not an asshole
Because the food was OFF THE HOOK

We were in the heart of college football country and it was gameday in Arkansas.  (Spoilers: The Razorbacks were the first of 2 teams Anthony mushed that day.)   Everyone in the dining room (and people waiting on their food) were watching Arkansas take on SC, the waitress was stopping to watch too.  There was a back room with other college games going on, and old white dudes sitting by themselves watching them.  It’s bizarre that so many people who didn’t go to college are so interested in college football.  The south is bizarre.

The food though, is phenomenal.  I got a pulled pork sandwich with wet slaw that was a solid 8.5/10.  I only fell asleep for half an hour after eating it, though it still gets a half-point bump from the itis up to a 9.0.  That and a drink were less than $6 and suddenly realized that I may have the highest salary of anyone in the building (and my salary is peanuts in Philadelphia).

Part 2: Maumelle to Oklahoma City – 326 miles

Anthony woke me from that day’s nap at a “scenic overlook” above Lake Dardanelle in the middle of fucking nowhere.

Days I wear a bandana I haven't showered, fyi
Gotta admit, it was pretty. Air smelled fresh and the weather was great!

As a whole, Arkansas sucked balls.

Oklahoma sucked more.  We crossed over at 2:22 PM and got gas right over the border in a little town called Roland.  The vibe was strange, and the gas stations were run by Native American Indians, not Subcontinental ones. Anthony likened Oklahoma to the Canada of Texas.  It was strangely accurate as we hit “Canadian County, OK” around 7 PM.

There was lots more nothing.  Some casinos and some flat dusty land, surrounded by nothing.  From 3 PM until 5 PM, we didn’t have internet service on our phones.  In hindsight, maybe the worst state of the whole trip.  We started getting service again when we were about this close to Oklahoma City.

OKC was it's own special type of shitty.
SIGNS OF LIFE
Hey, check out our one skyscraper!
Hey, check out our one skyscraper!

We were there around 5:30 on a Saturday and the downtown was DESERTED. Post-apocalyptic even.  We saw maybe 6 other people as we walked around the block to a -get this- sushi and sports bar.  It was an upscale place, relatively speaking, but was a sports and sushi bar, so the ceiling was pretty low.

Parse that again and realize that you aren’t missing out on anything by never going to Oklahoma City.  The Sooners lost to unranked Texas, Anthony’s second mush of the day.

Anthony and some "art". And NO PEOPLE ANYWHERE
Anthony and some “art”. And NO PEOPLE ANYWHERE

Part 3: Oklahoma City, OK to Shamrock, TX – 166 miles

We left Oklahoma around 7 PM, our motel was a couple hours away and the midwest had sapped our energy quickly.

Oklahoma beyond the city. Sucked
Oklahoma beyond the city. Sucked

I missed the exact time that we got into Texas, though it was after nightfall and the panhandle was indistinguishable from western Oklahoma.  The roads may have been a little nicer, but there was nothing but ranches all around.  At that time of night we could only find 4 radio stations, all of which sucked.  We finally arrived to a sleepy little town called Shamrock, Texas, which was too boring to take any pictures of.  I was incredibly disappointed that these past few states have sucked so much.  Just a wasted effort, and the low point of the trip.

The worst of things was over with, finally.  Things turn around from this point on.

Total distance traveled: Today – 813 miles, Total – 1707 miles.

Day 1: Linglestown, PA to Dickson, TN

govinbhai GG2LA, Uncategorized

10/11/13

We left early, about 6:15 in the morning.  It was dark, it was cold, it was raining, overall some pretty gross conditions.  After packing some extra snacks for the road, and lots of blessings/good luck wishes from my parents, we set out from Linglestown.

Part I: To Roanoke – 300 miles

Interstate 81 South is easy enough to start.  A familiar road through the state capital, into the west shore suburbs, farm country, my old climbing gym, and loads more farm country.  The sky remained gray through the rolling hills of Pennsylvania, the rain continued.

We may have been in Maryland for less than 15 minutes, and it kept raining.

We weren’t in West Virginia for too much longer, but it was pretty sudden when we arrived.  Anthony and I lost our wireless internet service and I began experiencing Twitter-withdrawal symptoms (only kind of kidding). And it kept on raining.  I was relieved to leave the state.  There was some trickery keeping it quiet.

Virginia was boring as hell too, which may be why the roadkill count started.

So morbid
I saw a dead possum and raccoon at the same time at 9:30.

We stopped for gas for the first time in a little town called Greenville, VA a little before 10 AM.  Reasons cited for stopping and written in my travel log were: “Gas, pissin’, stretchin'”.  The rain had let up, but it was cold and I could see my breath.  About four hours in things did begin to feel a little more southern.  Lots of Duck Dynasty labeled air fresheners, advertisements for truck parts over the urinal, and college football hats were seen at the gas station. Strangely enough, this was the cheapest gas we got on the whole trip.

Let that soak in.
Let that soak in.

We didn’t break again until 11:15 when we got to Roanoke, a tiny town in the middle of backwoods Virginia.  It was smaller than Harrisburg and tried its mightiest to have a downtown area.  There was a nice little street market on market street, where a guy said “India?” to me.  I laughed and said, “yup, you got me!” but I was thinking “yup, I’m in the South!”.  To take full advantage of this fact, we stopped by Thelma’s Chicken and Waffles, which is exactly as good as it sounds.  I got the breast and thigh on a waffle.  My chicken was so fresh that some marrow (I think) oozed out of the bone as the waitress placed it in front of me.  I’m positive that chicken was still clucking that morning.

[I’d have a picture here but I’m not a twerp who habitually takes pictures of food]

I originally gave the food at solid 8.5/10, but immediately after getting back on the highway I was struck by “the itis” for a solid hour.  Proof positive that it was some fantastic home cookin’, and the rating goes all the way to a 9.5.  This was the first of many gluttonous food decisions, and I’m pretty certain I gained 10 pounds in 4 days of sitting in a car and eating trash.

Part 2: To Dickson, by way of Nashville, TN – 438 miles + 42 miles

1:52 PM – After waking from the itis we listened to some chapters of the World War Z audiobook.  Enjoyable, but we never listened to it after that. We were driving through Virginia about as long as you could possibly ride through Virginia.  Lots of farms and ranches.  And hills.  Lots of both.  Really quite boring, but after VA I’m entering states I’ve never been in before.

4:13 PM – We stop in Dandridge, Tennessee for gas and I am delighted to see that two Gujaratis (likely a husband and wife) own and run the place.  Shortly after, we leave good ol’ I-81 for I-40.

5:00ish PM - Hit rush hour in Knoxville, Tennessee. This is a snapshot of some of the traffic. Fuck you Knoxville.
5:00ish PM – Hit rush hour in Knoxville, Tennessee. This is a snapshot of some of the traffic. Fuck you Knoxville.

6:30 PM – We went back in time and gained an hour back! Times now in CST

7:22 PM – Got into Nashville.

Howdy!
Howdy!

I reckon this city the size of Baltimore.  The whole dang downtown strip was all bars and boot shops! But all the bars had two things in common: 1. live music  and 2. some country bumpkins havin’ a real good time.  The music being played in the bars we visited – Rippy’s and The Stage – was really great y’all.  But we was real tired ya hear? So we drove further outta the city to Dickson, Tennessee and got there ’round 9:30. We didn’t stay up to watch that night’s Dodgers and Cardinals game, good thing too because it ended up lastin’ 13 innings! Long day of drivin’ ahead of us.

Total distance traveled: Today -780 miles, Total – 894 miles.

In day 3 of this blogothon, you’ll hear about Keith Davis, who I’m pretty sure was a pimp running his prostitution ring out of that Econolodge.

Macroblogging – #govinbhaigoestoLA

Image govinbhai GG2LA

Finally, the inspiration (and free time) to write – it’s been a long time coming.  

Recently, I was afforded the opportunity to drive across the country from Pennsylvania to Los Angeles.  The idea of driving across the U S of A is something I had only dreamt of, but had never (ever) considered a realistic possibility.  It is a nostalgic notion that reeks of cliche, but one that any 20something with an uncertain future (all of us) can and would do given the opportunity.  Look me in the eye and tell me I’m wrong about this. 

Necessary backstory:

When Anthony (my best friend of 17 years and a key character in this narrative) asked,

“Wanna drive out to LA Columbus day weekend”? [sic]

it was around 7 PM on September 26th, 2013 and I was in the dimly lit radiology wing of Temple University Hospital.  I was scanning a subject’s brain after a day of work and my first thought was “but I have work”.  That was a lame excuse.  Ultimately, zero fucks were given, I was completely on board for the road trip, and I was looking forward to something for the first time in a long, long time.  

The scientist in me took (semi-) detailed notes of the experience:

  • A daily log book of places traveled and little detours
  • Summaries of the states and towns where we spent some significant time
  • Food reviews (yum!)
  • Gasoline intake
  • Roadkill count (For a while, then it got tedious and gave the whole note-taking process a macabre vibe.)
  • Hundreds of pictures

The overworked, underfun young adult thought of the following things:

  • I get to spend some quality time with my best bro before he moves out to the gold cost (He’s traveling to apartment hunt).
  • Let’s see this whole goddamn beautiful country HELL YEAH ‘MURICA
  • I get to see Adam – the college buddy who’s making it in LA, and the reason I root for the Jets on Sunday – for the first time since graduation
  • Something’s always been calling me to the west coast.  Let’s see if it’s for real.
  • I’ll have a short meeting with a faculty member that I’ll be applying to work with next year.  May save me a lot of time in the long run, one way or the other.
  • Really good Tex-Mex food.
  • Hey, I’m actually doing something cool.  Like, cool enough to tell people about.

Thus, the documentation this journey by way blog posts.  I’ll post about the 4 major days of travel, a longer bit on Los Angeles, and then some more specific articles if I feel like mining my data for any more noteworthy effects. I’ve been microblogging (#TeamTwitter) with the totally obnoxious hashtag #GovinbhaigoestoLA if you want to read ahead.  But chances are if you’re reading this you came from there.  Hooray for recursion!

To wet your palette, the first “leg” of the journey, which is probably more proportional to the big toe.

10/10/13, distance travelled: 114 miles

  • 10:40 PM: Arrived at my parents’ house in Harrisburg from Philadelphia.  We’d be leaving early the next morning
  • My mother decided to “surprise visit” me at my house in south Philly.  There’s a reason she hasn’t visited (I live in what amounts to a frat house) and when she did visit she was appalled. It made for an extremely uncomfortable ride home.
  • However, I did drive on an interstate for the first time in months.  Good think I shook off the rust, right?
  • Some stellar Indian food late after we got home.  Totally worth the heartburn, and it reminded me that I don’t visit home enough.
  • It was cold and raining.

So much more to come!

Old school cool
Old school cool

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