In an age of healthy eating and wanton franchise commercialism I like to spend my Saturday mornings giving both of those concepts a giant “fuck you”.

I do this by buying a number of donuts from my block’s corner store “Tony’s”. It’s a tradition unlike any other.

 

Delightfully unhealthy and infinitely better than Dunkin’ Donuts.

(Sidenote: Everything from Dunkin Donuts, save the munchkins, is flaming hot garbage. The donuts and bagels are so sterile, manufactured and perfectly round.  Absolutely no character. The coffee? Toilet water. Luckily, the drink is equal parts toilet water and sugary cream. Don’t get me started on the “frozen mocha mint chocolate chip lattes” because that’s not drinking coffee, that’s drinking diabetes. There are DDs EVERYWHERE, at least 7 in Suburban Station. I hate Dunkin’ Donuts. The only redeeming factor is that half are owned/staffed by Indians.)

The donuts from Tony’s are the real deal.  They only have them on Saturdays, and the best ones (chocolate frosted) sell out by 9:30 AM.  Hangovers be damned, I’m out the door by 8 to buy some. If I’m the only one home, maybe 1 or 2. Roommates? A half dozen.  Various friends or family sleeping on our couch? DONUTS FOR EVERYBODY.

The donuts are huge and you can taste the freshness.  The cream-filled donuts have actual, fluffy, delicious cream on the inside. Not the questionable white paste from DD. Tony’s doesn’t have all the bells and whistles of Federal Donuts, but the 4 types of donuts they do have they do incredibly well. “Keep it simple” is the mantra of this timeless corner store run by two old Italian guys.

If you’re in the neighborhood, come by and grab a donut.  If you’re not, put down your granola and cold-pressed juices, and eat a fatty, delicious donut. (Just not from Dunkin)

 

PS – Microwave a donut for like 10 seconds before eating it.  It will change your life.