I’m not going to get into the bacon/pork roll or ketchup/hot sauce controversy right now.  What I’m talking about is the bread your bacon egg & cheese is served on.

There are a couple of options: toast, long rolls, bagels, croissants.  Only one of them is correct.

Let’s throw toast out right now.  That’s amateur shit. If you eat your bacon, egg & cheese on toast then you listen to top 40 music, are totally into running, and may describe yourself as “totally awkward!”. Because you are a boring, bland person without any semblance of a personality.

Long rolls? Maybe. These are probably the biggest breakfast sandwiches, so it’s a quantity over quality type of deal. If it’s an amoroso roll, then it’s probably pretty fantastic.  But you also run the risk of a prepackaged, generic, mushy piece of bread.  I’d rather not.

Bagels.  I love bagels.  There have been multiple days when I’ve eaten bagels for breakfast and lunch, they’re so versatile and filling.  They are a great breakfast.  Eggs are a great breakfast.  Together?  They might be too great.  First, they’re too damn big to fit in your mouth.  And you’re getting a lot of competing flavors, especially if you’re eating an everything bagel.  And if you’re too full at breakfast the rest of your day is fucked.

The real winner is croissants.  All airy and flaky, but still buttery and rich.  Soaking up the grease from the eggs and bacon and just absolutely delectable. You look fancy as all hell, because plebeians who order long rolls or toast are too simple minded to fathom such a regal breakfast sandwich.  They can’t even begin to comprehend how much better your breakfast sandwich is than their crummy, common excuse for the most important meal of the day.  If you haven’t done this before, you’re missing out on one of the finest pleasures in life.  If you’ve already seen the light, you’re probably salivating at the thought.