Year: 2015

My neighbor hates dogs or POC, maybe both

govinbhai Stream of consciousness , , , , , ,

A few weeks ago I was walking my dog early in the morning. He gets into his squatting position and I pull out a poop back from my pocket. Nothing unusual.

My dog decides not to poop there, so we carry on our way. Some dude down the block is warming up car and yelling (at me, apparently).

“…DID YOU LEAVE YOUR DOGS SHIT ON THE GROUND? WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?”

“My dog didn’t shit. I have an empty poop bag in my hand.”

“I SAW YOUR DOG SHIT IN MY REAR VIEW AND YOU DIDN’T PICK IT UP.”

“My dog didn’t shit. Why would I be carrying this poop bag if I didn’t intend to clean it?”

“I’M GOING DOWN THERE AND IF I SEE SHIT I AM RUBBING IT IN YOUR FACE.” [This is a verbatim quote]

I continue on down the block past my house because my dog still needs to shit. My neighbor gets in his truck (complete with NASCAR bumper sticker) and pulls up alongside me.

“I owe you an apology.”

“Yes you do.”

“I’m sorry. I hate people not picking up their dogs shit.”

“Trust me buddy, I know, I live across the street.” *points at apartment* “I want a clean neighborhood as badly as you do.”

~~2 weeks later, this morning, where it’s steadily raining in Philadelphia~~

My dog and I are coming around the block and he’s sniffing signs, stoops, everything. He happens to sniff at that same asshole’s stoop and he steps out.

“Do you mind?”

My dog had already shit so I waved a full poop bag right at him.

“Don’t let your dog piss on my step.”

“Dude, it’s raining outside.”

“Yeah well I’m the one that has to smell it!”

Shrugged and walked away.

 

There are dozens of dogs on my block. Potentially hundreds in my neighborhood. What makes this dude call me and my 10 pound out?

Screen Shot 2015-12-01 at 7.22.05 AM
Look at this face.

Considering that I live on a block of older, mostly retired, blue collar Irish-Americans who don’t approve of “the blacks” or “fuckin’ muslims” I gotta believe the worst crime I committed is having brown skin tone and a beard.

 

Here comes Rover, sniffin at your ass
But pardon me bitch, as I shit on your grass
That means hoe, you been shit-ted on!
I’m not the first dog that’s shitted on your lawn

Am I Cornelius Peterson Reincarnated?

govinbhai Stream of consciousness , , , ,

I’ve been using this same laptop since about 2010, and it’s on its last legs.   Recently I’ve been going through old files and sure enough – I found #content that I can #blog about.

I found this screenshot (from a Philly.com map) in my pictures folder.

died when i was born

Why is this significant? For one,  my nameday is August 28, 1990.  Sure, lots of people have been born and died on that very same day, same as Cornelius Peterson and I.  But look more closely.  My mans got gunned down at 18th and Diamond.  I lived at 18th and Diamond my junior year of college; I lived just one side street down at 18th and Fontain my senior year.  That’s where I was when this map came out.  Safe to admit I was rattled.

Update: I continued looking through my computer and found this picture.  This is the church that took up the 1800 block of Diamond Street.

2011-01-27_12-37-41_353

What does it mean though? Coincidence? Illuminati? The religious tradition I was born into was actually right? Who knows.  If you’re hanging out with me on my next birthday, remind us to pour some out for our lost homie Cornelius Peterson.  How many brothers fell victim to the streets? RIP there’s a heaven for a G

REDS

govinbhai Stream of consciousness ,

Following the quarter-life crisis of last week’s blog, I got a dog.  It’s helped innumerably.

Meet Reds!!

20150116_162749

He’s a 2 year-old mini pinscher from Morris Animal Refuge, and 10 lbs of handsome.  He doesn’t really bark, or even use his mouth much. He just likes to cuddle up and chill out.  And no accidents yet so I have no complaints.

You’ve probably seen tweets or snapchats or whatever but take some time and check out how awesome this guy is.

Snapchat--6077132812341445235

So snuggly
So snuggly
Still sleepy
Still sleepy
Alert!
Alert!

We have a lot in common too:

  • When we eat too fast we get gassy and burp
  • Our farts smell terrible
  • Neither of us can stand the cold (but we do have purple jackets to stay warm)
  • We’re not huge fans of vegetables.

Apologies in advance if I become an insufferable dog person!