Written in a form that you can (hopefully) understand.
Because what’s a list without Kristen Wiig gif?
So I’m standing in the petty cash office at work and there’s a TV droning CNN nonstop. I was playing Flappy Bird (ha!) and overheard some stats about people who don’t believe in climate change (something along the lines of “only 42% of Americans believe in climate change that’s influenced by man”).
People who deny climate change are right wingers/dolts (mutually inclusive). I’m paraphrasing some of the rest of what I heard:
Working in academia I tend to spend a lot of time will well educated, scientifically literate people (scientists). Ask any faculty member at Temple University or elsewhere and they will be in staunch agreement that humans have have influenced our climate to our own detriment. Climate change deniers are their own special type of stupid, but CNN brought up a thoughtful point (for once): that the general public woefully misconstrues climate change and the scientific community at large because most of their exposure to “scientists” is a terrible fucking television show.
Not only does The Big Bang Theory incorrectly stereotype scientists, lack any sort of meaningful character development, rely on terrible writing and a forced laugh track.
CRINGEWORTHY
But in general, it isn’t a show about real scientists. Physics PhDs aren’t spending their free time at comic book stores or arcades. They aren’t entirely socially inept losers. If the show was accurate, the PhDs on the show wouldn’t be relatable, white Americans. Look at this faculty directory and tell me how many Sheldon’s and Leonard’s you see. A show about reading scientific journals, developing and testing experimental hypotheses, and examining evidence to draw conclusions wouldn’t be too popular (that’s an indictment of the American public and mainstream media).
Misrepresenting the scientific community has a negative, cascading effect on very real issues that threaten our way of life. 97% of climate scientists agree that climate-warming has been influenced by human activity.
Though if you’re stupid enough to enjoy the Big Bang Theory, you likely don’t have the cognitive capacity to understand what I’m angry about.
In an age of healthy eating and wanton franchise commercialism I like to spend my Saturday mornings giving both of those concepts a giant “fuck you”.
I do this by buying a number of donuts from my block’s corner store “Tony’s”. It’s a tradition unlike any other.
Delightfully unhealthy and infinitely better than Dunkin’ Donuts.
(Sidenote: Everything from Dunkin Donuts, save the munchkins, is flaming hot garbage. The donuts and bagels are so sterile, manufactured and perfectly round. Absolutely no character. The coffee? Toilet water. Luckily, the drink is equal parts toilet water and sugary cream. Don’t get me started on the “frozen mocha mint chocolate chip lattes” because that’s not drinking coffee, that’s drinking diabetes. There are DDs EVERYWHERE, at least 7 in Suburban Station. I hate Dunkin’ Donuts. The only redeeming factor is that half are owned/staffed by Indians.)
The donuts from Tony’s are the real deal. They only have them on Saturdays, and the best ones (chocolate frosted) sell out by 9:30 AM. Hangovers be damned, I’m out the door by 8 to buy some. If I’m the only one home, maybe 1 or 2. Roommates? A half dozen. Various friends or family sleeping on our couch? DONUTS FOR EVERYBODY.
The donuts are huge and you can taste the freshness. The cream-filled donuts have actual, fluffy, delicious cream on the inside. Not the questionable white paste from DD. Tony’s doesn’t have all the bells and whistles of Federal Donuts, but the 4 types of donuts they do have they do incredibly well. “Keep it simple” is the mantra of this timeless corner store run by two old Italian guys.
If you’re in the neighborhood, come by and grab a donut. If you’re not, put down your granola and cold-pressed juices, and eat a fatty, delicious donut. (Just not from Dunkin)
PS – Microwave a donut for like 10 seconds before eating it. It will change your life.
Let’s take a photo tour through Los Angeles. We hung out there for three-ish days, equal parts apartment hunting, general sight seeing, and eating some phenomenal food.
There’s also plenty of stuff I didn’t take pictures of. The camera I was using was from about 2006 and didn’t take great pictures. Also, I hate looking like a tourist, even if I am in fact a tourist. Last but not least, sometimes it’s important to soak in an experience instead of seeing it through an LCD screen.
Like I said in my previous #govinbhaigoestoLA post, Adam’s house was one of the coolest living spaces I’ve ever been in. It seemed to be a mansion, built into the side of a mountain, that was converted into a few units.
Adam’s was at the top and had a balcony with a wonderful view of northeast Los Angeles.
Yeah, it’s some freeways and warehouses in the foreground but having this perspective right outside your window (and 70° weather) is pretty fucking rad. Later on I’d snuck down onto Adam’s lower neighbor’s front porch (kind of by accident but not really) and got this slightly cooler shot.
Adam had asked me to avoid his downstairs neighbor because he’s a crabapple. Part of my mind told me not to go onto his porch but this picture was worth it. As I was leaving he came out and gave me a dirty look (asshole).
Adam’s landlord was working on a garden nearby and tells me “the people that move this far out want to get away from the noise and the people”. Speaking of the garden, it was chill as fuck.
Adam’s yard may be bigger than Fairmount Park.
And just a short drive away from Adam’s place was a scenic overlook of the city.
I think we went to Venice Beach first. It was pretty touristy with a boardwalk not unlike the shore out here (except more homeless people, more attractive women in less clothing, and doctors who could prescribe medicinal marijuana). Didn’t take pictures of that shit because like I said, “I’m not a tourist”.
Whereas Venice Beach is the trashy part of the coast, Santa Monica was super ritzy (also where Three’s Company took place). Fancy restaurants and cars, Jamba Juice, a big open-air shopping center. It was disgusting in it’s own special way. We went to the pier and got some shitty, overpriced souveniers. I don’t have any pictures of Santa Monica but there’s a shocking number of homeless people. If I had to be homeless, this would definitely be the place to be.
Another day when Anthony was putting in some paperwork for his apartment, I went for a hike up Runyon Canyon. It’s pretty well known and the views of the city were spectacular.
So that was most of the pictures I took in LA. Other highlights include:
Finally it came time to head back home. The chubby, awkward Jewish kid I’d met at college orientation a few years ago had moved across the country and was living the dream in Los Angeles (generally ballin’ hard and in great shape). I’m really proud of him. I’m hoping the chubby Puerto Rican kid I met in first grade can accomplish the same thing out here.
I flew back home and started figuring out how I’d move to California.
Hoping to make a post in the future about my vacation in SF and LA with my parents. They have most of the pictures though so it may be a while. Thanks for reading about my trip to Los Angeles.
8:00 PM @ Theatre of the Living Arts, Philadelphia, PA
Before I start, some thoughts:
By now, everyone show know the story of Lil Dicky. For the uninformed, the about page of his website sums it up better than I could. Selected quotes:
Lil Dicky is the voice of the voiceless. In an era where rap is dominated by racial, social, and economic minorities, LD decided to put the upper-middle class on his frail, Jewish shoulders.
…
A non-traditional rapper, Lil Dicky uses a mix of comedy, lyrical ingenuity, and self-deprecation to spew out entertaining and relatable content.
…
At night, he’ll pee sitting down, due to fatigue.
Originally a Philly guy who lived out in the Bay Area doing an office job. He quit and started his rapping career about 9 months ago. Now he’s touring the Northeast and this was his first show ever.
The main act started shortly after we got in and got drinks. He started off with what is arguably his anthem:
The place blew the fuck up. I’d never been to a rap show before, and Lil D had never performed in one either so I didn’t know what to expect. It was a happy surprise to find LD had a tremendous stage presence. He was great with the crowd, full of energy, and in an Iverson jersey. Really the perfect start to the show.
LD had smooth transitions betweens all of his songs. First, he hearkened back to his business degree to display some charts portraying market share in the rap game. He was able to have the crowd provide the beat for a freestyle, and also got the crowd to chant “precum”.
He also gained some key street cred. He introduced his hypeman, the archetypical cool black guy that everyone who doesn’t have black friends wishes they had as a friend. There may have been less than 10 black people in the audience so he asked all the white guys in the venue to cheer. There were a lot of cheers.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3rnFlQAvk8U
He got Nerlens Noel to show up, which further endeared him to Philadelphians.
A heroic performance throughout the night. Really makes me wish I could hear half the shit he said. Hat’s off to this dude not liking whatever he was doing, taking life by the balls, and becoming a rapper. Grabbing his 20s by the balls. Living the dream.
Solid 8.5/10, sound in the TLA was so shitty.
Follow the guy on Twitter and Youtube before he makes it big.
10/14/13
Left Tempe at 6:20, I was certainly tired of spending the entire day in the car but Los Angeles was so. close. The last leg was only 6 hours or so, and that’s a walk in the park compared to what we’ve been doing.
We started upon one of the giant highway loops that comprises Phoenix and headed west on Interstate 10.
The rest of Arizona was pretty uneventful, strip malls and desert. Right before 9 AM we crossed into California. The dry earth became farmland. The radio stations improved rapidly. The good vibes were palpable.
I was finally there, the golden state, the Republic of California. I’d been told multiple times by multiple people that I would love it out there, and my love affair was only beginning. My goal in 2014 is to move to Cali – or at least out of the cold.
(Play song as you continue reading)
Around 10:15 we stopped in Indio, CA, home of the Coachella music festival, for some gas. The first thing I noticed was in place of a truck stop McDonald’s or Burger King, there was a Del Taco. This reminded me of two things, I’m not in Kansas Pennsylvania anymore, and I’m in CALIFORNIA (also I had the munchies). The good vibes got stronger and stronger as we made our way to Anaheim, and then LA.
We passed through some mountains around Riverside at about 11:30. We picked up the UCR radiostation that was playing non-stop awesome indie music. Everything, I would soon find out, is better in California.
We were still a ways away from Los Angeles proper, so our first stop was in Anaheim at Anthony’s Aunt Corie’s house (actually, Jack-in-the-Box and then his Aunt’s house). It already became clear just how despicable the traffic was in SoCal, it didn’t help that Aunt Corie lived within a literal stone’s throw of Disney Land. Still, every street was wide enough to accommodate tons of cars, though we spent plenty of time idling in gridlock (and we were still MILES away from LA). Good weather = cool, good food = very cool, cars everywhere = turrible.
We sat and chatted with Anthony’s aunt for a few hours (he hadn’t seen her in a while, natch) and I was terrorized by her giant hellhound of a pet. The house was ranch-style, like many in the area, with an open floorplan, swimming pool, and a very dry lawn. I’ve been told you can see the nightly fireworks at Disney Land from her backyard.
Between working from home, Aunt Corie and her husband told Anthony about when they’d moved across the country as 20somethings, as Anthony and his girlfriend were planning to do. His uncle was really proud of him – it really does take balls to pick up and move across the country. At 1 PM on that day, it still felt surreal that we were there and Anthony would be moving out here within a couple of months.
Anthony unloaded some of his stuff. He’d also be leaving his car here when we flew back to PA to pick up when he returned to LA. And we were off to the city of Angels by 3:15.
If you’ve never been to the west coast it’s hard to fathom what type of city Los Angeles is. My buddy Adam described it as a “fake city” because it’s really just a bunch of smaller cities spread out and tied together by a giant spiderweb of freeways (that’s what they call ’em out there). We were taking I-5 into LA, it was 35 miles away but we were very much in the LA metro area. For some perspective, that’s about the distance between Harrisburg and Lancaster, except 283 would be 10 lanes wide, bumper to bumper traffic the entire way, with houses and shopping malls on all sides. To continue comparisons to central PA, the freeway also smelled like shit (what’s up Lancaster county?).
It took a goddamn hour to reach LA. I could tell because the buildings got moderately bigger and the traffic got considerably worse.
That said, we finally made it to Los Angeles FUCK YES.
My buddy who we were staying with had work, like a normal person who wasn’t skipping an entire week of work. So we were on our own in the city so Anthony could look for apartments. That’s the “main” reason we came out here, Anthony at least.
I balked at the absurd amount of traffic on every fucking freeway, street, whatever. Most cars being driven by a single person, congesting the roads and providing the fine cloud of smog that is known to envelop Los Angeles. We’d wait at intersections for 10 minutes, barely moving a block. Philly may be congested and gross but I’ll take my grid system and public transit over this shit every day of the week (and twice on Sundays).
I was navigating for Anthony as we made our way to the Hollywood part of town, merging, turning, basically being in the car felt like a near death experience. So it goes when you’re surrounded by a couple million, gas-burning agents of environmental destruction. It was actually pretty shocking seeing how everyone was in such good shape despite spending a couple hours everyday sitting on their asses in traffic.
The first apartment building we visited in Hollywood was actually the best we saw during the entire week, and was right on Sunset Boulevard (I think?). Anthony was this close to finalizing on it before some things arose but that’s another story for another day. One thing worth mentioning was the feeling that “yep, this is where entertainment takes place”. Advertisements for movies and TV shows and luxury perfume were everywhere. It was all so corporate, so glitzy, so unlike anywhere in Philadelphia. Weird.
Already I’d begun to miss the row homes of south philly, everything around this part of town was apartment complexes that all seemed like they’d been built in the past 10 years. Like much of Hollywood, it felt extremely fake. But I wasn’t the one moving here, and it was really sunny outside.
We found parking (fucking TERRIBLE to do in LA) and started walking right down Hollywood Boulevard. It was the Times Square of LA, lots of tourists, overpriced gift shops, generally shitty. I saw the stars in the sidewalk, the “HOLLYWOOD” sign, street performers and got hassled to do a celebrity home tour (note: if you actually do this you are the worst kind of person).
It was still early, around 5 PM. Adam wouldn’t be off work for a bit and he had a long commute home (no kidding) so we stopped to grab a drink. So many bars to choose from…so which one did we decide on?
Turns out it wasn’t an Eagles bar, they just had this dude outside. Wasn’t even a sports bar. Mindfuck city. It was maybe 6 PM and Monday Night Football was on TV – totally taken aback by that too.
But it was in this bar that everything became very real – my best friend was actually moving across the actual country to live in actual Los Angeles. Sucks that I’m not going to be able to walk over to his cul-de-sac to play basketball, let alone see him more than once or twice a year. Most of my high school friends didn’t live in Linglestown anymore, but the diaspora was about to truly begin. However will we do a live fantasy football draft?
I got a call from Adam, one of my dear friends from college who I hadn’t seen since our graduation in May 2012, and we started up to his place. He was in Echo Park, a formerly grungy area that was gentrifying rapidly (“You’d really like it, G” he tells me, and he was right). This neighborhood had, at that time, the steepest hills I’ve ever seen. It was completely mind bottling that people would build houses in such inconvenient areas. Narrow streets going up the sides of hills – who’s idea was that? Adam’s house specifically was built into the side of a mountain, with a deck overlooking northeast LA. It felt as though we may die driving up to his house and parking but we’d made it.
Adam was living with a bunch of Temple’s film school grads in a very, very chill space. The house was big and spacious, the people were super relaxed after a long day’s work. Or stoned, but whatever. What a sight for sore eyes this kid was:
My friends and I in college never took pictures together. Why would we? We’re just hanging out and playing video games or hackeysack or some dumb shit. When we graduated and realized we have 0 pictures together it dawned on me that I should take the occasional picture with people I care about, if only for reminiscing later.
That night we went to Umami burger, a series of burger joints in Los Angeles. Every place has their own special burgers and the one we visited was my #1 favorite meal of the trip. Don’t remember what I got because I accidentally got someone’s order and I ate half of it anyways. What I do remember is Adam’s roommate, a petite girl, inhaling the burger in less than 60 seconds, unreal. And our desert, it was called the flying saucer and was better than sex. I don’t remember specifically which Umami burger we went to, so if you visit LA just go to all of them and thank me later.
After dinner we went back to Adam’s and hung out on his balcony. Talked about life and shit. Didn’t matter we hadn’t seen each other in 18 months, he’s a friend where you can pick up anywhere without skipping a beat. Keep friends like that around, and be sure to introduce them to each other.
Mileage count: Today – 389 miles, Total – 2,896 miles
This is the end of my consistent bookkeeping. We spent a few days in LA looking for apartments, sight seeing, and catching up with old friends. I’ll try and summarize the rest of my LA trip in the next post. (It’s worth reading, if only for pictures of Adam’s place.)
Thanks for reading.
Intro to the intro:
I stopped writing. Because I’m a lame as fuck duck. And real life, but whatever. It’s important for me to finish writing this. The details may not be as vivid, but the important parts have stuck and I guess that’s what I should be taking from this journey anyways.
I’ve actually revisited California since my break in writing and that’s recolored my thoughts of Los Angeles, that said I’ll recount the rest of #govinbhaigoestoLA as the one-time naive govin. My subsequent visit to California and life-in-general in between are topics to be discussed some other day.
I really need to keep writing. Also, keep count of how many sentences I start with “I”.
______________________________________________
Sitting stationary, awkwardly upright for 12+ hours a day does awful, terrible things to one’s body. Being a passenger is nearly as bad as being the driver in this case. Muscles atrophy, joints ache (joints help, too!), the mind hurts. Even consistent breaks to stretch and walk around couldn’t undo an entire day of sitting. Cars suck
10/13/13
Part 1: Shamrock to Albuquerque
We left Shamrock, Texas at 6 AM. It was very cold. On the front of the Econolodge, someone had painted a shamrock with the stars and stripes, and goddamn it was beautifully ‘Murican. The rest of the town was pretty sad.
The sky was clear and dark as we left. It was dark almost the entire time we were in Texas. But the sky was clear and I could see the stars. There was little light pollution, little dust, and bright, clear stars painting the entire sky. We had been driving for two days, and we really haven’t gotten that far, you know?
Another thunderstorm passed overhead and we lost sight of the stars, and Texas was dark once again. We drove for a few more hours, past Amarillo and saw a textbook definition of Texan sprawl (it was disgusting – motels and fast food everywhere). Panhandle sucked.
Finally, in Vega, TX we stopped for gas (worst bathrooms and coffee of the trip) and I took over driving duty for the first (and only time) during this trip. I had volunteered a couple times, but Anthony powered through. Kid likes driving or he’s afraid of me driving his car which is just as likely.
I’m glad I got to drive though, because now I can say I actually “drove” across the US. Don’t mean to brag but my driving was probably the highlight of all the driving we did.
New Mexico was sneaky a super cool state. The weather, the landscape, the food (!!!!!). It was really everything I was hoping Arizona would be. Also we went an hour back in time, whoa.
New Mexico was the first state when we really began to feel the desert heat. I am a creature of warmth and that shit felt SO GOOD. Keep in mind that this was in October. I would give you my wallet right now if I could be back in New Mexico.
So we stopped in Santa Rosa at 9 AM, probably the shortest driving/break ratio of the trip. Even the gas station was chill and the views were beautiful.
Highways and homes cut into the red and blue rocks all around us. The desolation of the midwest began to feel like our exploration of the southwest. The weather was divine.
Albuquerque, not only one of the hardest cities to spell, was a sweet place to hitch our wagon and grab an early lunch (that’s “brunch” for you white people) around 11. I parallel parked like a boss ass city dweller and we walked to Frontier New Mexico Diner (the second best restaurant of the whole trip). The joint was right across the street from the University of New Mexico’s main campus, and I saw some bros with mustaches, some chicks with short hair, and instantly felt at home.
The place was PACKED. It was a Sunday and there was a mix of college students, presumptive visiting parents, and some truly bizarre locals. I had a strong inkling that Guy Fieri had probably been through the place but have not done the research to back that up. I think I ordered the breakfast burrito and saw heaven for the first time.
Boner jams, panty slushies, that’s what that place was. I give it a hard 10/10. We left Albquewhatever at 11:40 and found the Eagles game on the radio, Anthony’s dad Nick also texted us the best text updates you’ve ever seen. Part 2 of day 3 was the most beautiful leg of the journey.
Part 2: What’s more beautiful, the Southwest, or Nick Foles?
(I really miss football season)
Very easy for anyone in Philadelphia to say now, but this was week 6, the Eagles were 2-3 and Vick pulled a hammy the week before. This kid Foles brought the Eagles back at the end of that game, but it was against a shitty Giants squad. Conventional wisdom claimed that “Chip Kelly’s Offense” needed a mobile QB to open up running lanes and truly explode.
I was a Foles guy before it was cool. *dodges tomatoes thrown at me* But really I was excited for him to start. Vick was not a long term answer and was generally a glass cannon. Nick Foles was an accurate pocket-passed, if all sorts of white, slow and awkward. And he beat the Bucs in Tampa a year ago, let’s at least pull out this win in relief and see what happens.
Words could probably do this portion of the trip justice, but I’m not super good at words so I’ll use a lot of pictures and only periodic words. It helps that these were some of the best pictures of the trip. Anthony took over driving so I just felt out the vibes.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1b97wo2Ekww
Around 1:30 PM local time, we saw our first tumbleweeds. We lost radio stations. At 2:30 we got to Arizona, and there were exactly 0 radio stations available. It was hot. The Eagles had won. And soon, we went back in time again.
It was really pretty boring at first. But we finally split off the interstate (looks pretty much identical from state to state) onto a back road that would drive us through Tonto national park into Tempe. I took 50+ pictures and remembered that Anthony was afraid of heights. I greatly enjoyed this leg of the journey, Anthony not so much.
It was dark by the time we got into Tempe (nearly 6 PM) and Anthony was moderately peeved. I didn’t get many good pictures of the city but it was mostly highways so you’re not missing much. My big plan was to meet a POI at Arizona Sate that evening (which I did, at a pretty cool bar called Boulders on Broadway, rock climbing theme, qizzo and everything <3).
More importantly, I had my first In N Out burger and fries (animal style of course).
The burger was a solid 8/10, the fries were very weak, 5.5/10. In the future: animal style on burger, ketchup on fries.
Some last points about the Tempe/Phoenix area:
We were close. On day 4 we’d make it to California.
Mileage count: Today – 800 miles, Total – 2507 miles
Back in the 215 – Traveling across the country/getting un-jetlagged put the kibosh on writing for a few days!
10/12/13
As we were leaving the motel around 6:30 AM (Central time now) a gentleman was checking out in front of us.
“Last name?”
“Davis”
“First?”
“Keith. Keith Davis.”
Keith Davis was checking someone else out of the room, and booking another room for that night. “Can I get some extra keys? My girlfriend will get here before me.”
Other than this observation, I have no other evidence to substantiate my claim, but I say this with full confidence:
40 miles west of Nashville, in Dickson, Tennessee, we were watching a truck stop pimp in action. Keith Davis.
The most boring day of the trip
SO BORING
Part 1: Dickson to Maumelle, 321 miles
We passed through Memphis with little fanfare, and over the Mississippi river, into Arkansas, officially into the west.
Anthony planned the trip with AAA, so they gave him actual paper maps of the country. I play with Google maps for fun (I just love maps, don’t know why) so I had a fucking blast playing with these brand new instant relics. If you ever look away from an LCD screen (not too common in 2013, I know) be sure to use a paper map sometime. It’ll be something your grandkids won’t believe you used!
Arkansas is when I started to use the second map, so it was kind of a big deal.
But mostly Arkansas was boring as shit. Things started spreading out, we saw lots of farms and lots of ranches. Not too many people. Around 10 AM we saw our first cotton fields, and that’s really the first noteworthy thing that happened. Then we went through a fucking ABSURD thunderstorm, the first of a few in the tornado alley. I don’t know why or how people live out here. The rural midwest sucks.
We were near Little Rock at 11:30 so we stopped in North Little Rock for lunch. It was ghetto as hell and Anthony got bad vibes from the yelp!-recommended lunch place. Turns out it was closed anyways and we headed back onto I-40. Fucking Arkansas.
Maumelle, AR was in some ways refreshing. Mostly because there were people that didn’t look like they wanted to kill us. The people were becoming noticeably more obese here and the trend carried on throughout the midwest. We stopped at “Smokeshack B-B-Q” and I suddenly understood why.
We were in the heart of college football country and it was gameday in Arkansas. (Spoilers: The Razorbacks were the first of 2 teams Anthony mushed that day.) Everyone in the dining room (and people waiting on their food) were watching Arkansas take on SC, the waitress was stopping to watch too. There was a back room with other college games going on, and old white dudes sitting by themselves watching them. It’s bizarre that so many people who didn’t go to college are so interested in college football. The south is bizarre.
The food though, is phenomenal. I got a pulled pork sandwich with wet slaw that was a solid 8.5/10. I only fell asleep for half an hour after eating it, though it still gets a half-point bump from the itis up to a 9.0. That and a drink were less than $6 and suddenly realized that I may have the highest salary of anyone in the building (and my salary is peanuts in Philadelphia).
Part 2: Maumelle to Oklahoma City – 326 miles
Anthony woke me from that day’s nap at a “scenic overlook” above Lake Dardanelle in the middle of fucking nowhere.
As a whole, Arkansas sucked balls.
Oklahoma sucked more. We crossed over at 2:22 PM and got gas right over the border in a little town called Roland. The vibe was strange, and the gas stations were run by Native American Indians, not Subcontinental ones. Anthony likened Oklahoma to the Canada of Texas. It was strangely accurate as we hit “Canadian County, OK” around 7 PM.
There was lots more nothing. Some casinos and some flat dusty land, surrounded by nothing. From 3 PM until 5 PM, we didn’t have internet service on our phones. In hindsight, maybe the worst state of the whole trip. We started getting service again when we were about this close to Oklahoma City.
We were there around 5:30 on a Saturday and the downtown was DESERTED. Post-apocalyptic even. We saw maybe 6 other people as we walked around the block to a -get this- sushi and sports bar. It was an upscale place, relatively speaking, but was a sports and sushi bar, so the ceiling was pretty low.
Parse that again and realize that you aren’t missing out on anything by never going to Oklahoma City. The Sooners lost to unranked Texas, Anthony’s second mush of the day.
Part 3: Oklahoma City, OK to Shamrock, TX – 166 miles
We left Oklahoma around 7 PM, our motel was a couple hours away and the midwest had sapped our energy quickly.
I missed the exact time that we got into Texas, though it was after nightfall and the panhandle was indistinguishable from western Oklahoma. The roads may have been a little nicer, but there was nothing but ranches all around. At that time of night we could only find 4 radio stations, all of which sucked. We finally arrived to a sleepy little town called Shamrock, Texas, which was too boring to take any pictures of. I was incredibly disappointed that these past few states have sucked so much. Just a wasted effort, and the low point of the trip.
The worst of things was over with, finally. Things turn around from this point on.
Total distance traveled: Today – 813 miles, Total – 1707 miles.
10/11/13
We left early, about 6:15 in the morning. It was dark, it was cold, it was raining, overall some pretty gross conditions. After packing some extra snacks for the road, and lots of blessings/good luck wishes from my parents, we set out from Linglestown.
Part I: To Roanoke – 300 miles
Interstate 81 South is easy enough to start. A familiar road through the state capital, into the west shore suburbs, farm country, my old climbing gym, and loads more farm country. The sky remained gray through the rolling hills of Pennsylvania, the rain continued.
We may have been in Maryland for less than 15 minutes, and it kept raining.
We weren’t in West Virginia for too much longer, but it was pretty sudden when we arrived. Anthony and I lost our wireless internet service and I began experiencing Twitter-withdrawal symptoms (only kind of kidding). And it kept on raining. I was relieved to leave the state. There was some trickery keeping it quiet.
Virginia was boring as hell too, which may be why the roadkill count started.
We stopped for gas for the first time in a little town called Greenville, VA a little before 10 AM. Reasons cited for stopping and written in my travel log were: “Gas, pissin’, stretchin'”. The rain had let up, but it was cold and I could see my breath. About four hours in things did begin to feel a little more southern. Lots of Duck Dynasty labeled air fresheners, advertisements for truck parts over the urinal, and college football hats were seen at the gas station. Strangely enough, this was the cheapest gas we got on the whole trip.
We didn’t break again until 11:15 when we got to Roanoke, a tiny town in the middle of backwoods Virginia. It was smaller than Harrisburg and tried its mightiest to have a downtown area. There was a nice little street market on market street, where a guy said “India?” to me. I laughed and said, “yup, you got me!” but I was thinking “yup, I’m in the South!”. To take full advantage of this fact, we stopped by Thelma’s Chicken and Waffles, which is exactly as good as it sounds. I got the breast and thigh on a waffle. My chicken was so fresh that some marrow (I think) oozed out of the bone as the waitress placed it in front of me. I’m positive that chicken was still clucking that morning.
[I’d have a picture here but I’m not a twerp who habitually takes pictures of food]
I originally gave the food at solid 8.5/10, but immediately after getting back on the highway I was struck by “the itis” for a solid hour. Proof positive that it was some fantastic home cookin’, and the rating goes all the way to a 9.5. This was the first of many gluttonous food decisions, and I’m pretty certain I gained 10 pounds in 4 days of sitting in a car and eating trash.
Part 2: To Dickson, by way of Nashville, TN – 438 miles + 42 miles
1:52 PM – After waking from the itis we listened to some chapters of the World War Z audiobook. Enjoyable, but we never listened to it after that. We were driving through Virginia about as long as you could possibly ride through Virginia. Lots of farms and ranches. And hills. Lots of both. Really quite boring, but after VA I’m entering states I’ve never been in before.
4:13 PM – We stop in Dandridge, Tennessee for gas and I am delighted to see that two Gujaratis (likely a husband and wife) own and run the place. Shortly after, we leave good ol’ I-81 for I-40.
6:30 PM – We went back in time and gained an hour back! Times now in CST
7:22 PM – Got into Nashville.
I reckon this city the size of Baltimore. The whole dang downtown strip was all bars and boot shops! But all the bars had two things in common: 1. live music and 2. some country bumpkins havin’ a real good time. The music being played in the bars we visited – Rippy’s and The Stage – was really great y’all. But we was real tired ya hear? So we drove further outta the city to Dickson, Tennessee and got there ’round 9:30. We didn’t stay up to watch that night’s Dodgers and Cardinals game, good thing too because it ended up lastin’ 13 innings! Long day of drivin’ ahead of us.
Total distance traveled: Today -780 miles, Total – 894 miles.
In day 3 of this blogothon, you’ll hear about Keith Davis, who I’m pretty sure was a pimp running his prostitution ring out of that Econolodge.
Finally, the inspiration (and free time) to write – it’s been a long time coming.
Recently, I was afforded the opportunity to drive across the country from Pennsylvania to Los Angeles. The idea of driving across the U S of A is something I had only dreamt of, but had never (ever) considered a realistic possibility. It is a nostalgic notion that reeks of cliche, but one that any 20something with an uncertain future (all of us) can and would do given the opportunity. Look me in the eye and tell me I’m wrong about this.
Necessary backstory:
When Anthony (my best friend of 17 years and a key character in this narrative) asked,
“Wanna drive out to LA Columbus day weekend”? [sic]
it was around 7 PM on September 26th, 2013 and I was in the dimly lit radiology wing of Temple University Hospital. I was scanning a subject’s brain after a day of work and my first thought was “but I have work”. That was a lame excuse. Ultimately, zero fucks were given, I was completely on board for the road trip, and I was looking forward to something for the first time in a long, long time.
The scientist in me took (semi-) detailed notes of the experience:
The overworked, underfun young adult thought of the following things:
Thus, the documentation this journey by way blog posts. I’ll post about the 4 major days of travel, a longer bit on Los Angeles, and then some more specific articles if I feel like mining my data for any more noteworthy effects. I’ve been microblogging (#TeamTwitter) with the totally obnoxious hashtag #GovinbhaigoestoLA if you want to read ahead. But chances are if you’re reading this you came from there. Hooray for recursion!
To wet your palette, the first “leg” of the journey, which is probably more proportional to the big toe.
10/10/13, distance travelled: 114 miles
So much more to come!
govinbhai 