This has been occurring progressively since I finished college.  I don’t know why.  My food and sleep schedule is that of an infant’s.

If no one tells me to eat, or I forget, I get cranky.  I get all confused and irritable until I realize I’ve forgotten to eat.  I’m not above a little bit of sobbing.

When I do eat, I make a mess.  There’s food in my beard, on my desk, on my clothes, and I don’t notice because I’m so damn hungry I’m just shoving food down my gullet.

I eat too much too fast.  I get gassy/sleepy (in some order).  If I’m watching TV, in a car/train, especially on my couch, I will fall asleep in a matter of minutes.

Best (worst?) of all, I drool in my sleep.  I wake up on a damp pillow or with crusty saliva in my beard.   I’m extremely disoriented and usually have to use the bathroom.

The transformation into a baby will be complete when I start shitting myself.  At my current rate I’m expecting this to happen by July 4th.