Fucking Reptar Bars

Today I’m walking around campus and I see a kid in a Reptar shirt. 

Which in and of itself is pretty cool.  The wave of nostalgia that overcame me did not feel good at all.

When I was a kid I fucking loved Rugrats.  One of the best cartoons out there.  And in one episode Tommy (I think) is trying to get some Reptar bars.  I needed to get some of my own.

Because that shit turned your tongue GREEN

I wanted a Reptar bar so, so badly.  Whenever my mom went shopping I would ask her to buy me Reptar bars.  Being an immigrant who didn’t know any better she would actually ask employees at Festival Foods, K-Mart and Giant if they had any Reptar bars.  They always said “no” and when she came home empty handed I got pissed off at her (because I was a piece of shit).


 

I never grasped that these weren’t actually real candy bars.  Some kind soul finally enlightened my Mother, who came home livid because she’d spent the better part of a year looking for FAKE CANDY BARS FROM A CARTOON.

This was around the time that my mom decided that TV was rotting my brain and I spent too much time watching cartoons (neither of these is necessarily false).

For a couple weeks I wasn’t allowed to watch Rugrats.